Saturday, October 13, 2007

Narrative Essay #1

His Death, to the Magical Pond
By Jennifer

I heard my mom coming upstairs. I forcefully, but quietly, pulled the sheets of my bed over my head. Still sad and mad over what had just happened. I told him not to go, but he just had to. My mom opened the door as quietly as she could and sighed as she heard me whimpering. “David,” she said. “Can you please just listen?”
“What,” I said in a quiet voice.
She walked over to sit on my bed and stroke my hair. “Dad had to go,” she exclaimed. “It was his duty if he has this job.” I took the covers of my bed and looked outside my window as I saw the fire still going and spreading from the distance. I felt like I should have run after him or punching something so hard it would bleed to death, but I couldn’t. “I know this is hard,” she exclaimed,” but it was his time.”
During the funeral, I found out my dad had died in the fire while trying to save a trapped kid. I felt sorry for the child, but proud that my dad had tried. “Mom,” I asked. “Are you ok?”
“Yes dear,” she said, as I she tried not to cry while the priest was saying his words. I was holding my dad’s firefighter hat close to my heart so I could feel he was close by me. I started thinking of the good times we had spent with each other and just thinking of them made my stomach sick. After the funeral, many people brought wondrous, delicious foods for my mom and me to comfort us.
“Mom, I’m going to go take a walk to try and get some air to clear my thoughts,” I said.
“Ok, but don’t go too far,” she replied.
“Yeah, I know.”
As I was walking, I spotted a family of deer and started thinking mine and how that could’ve been us, still together. “Stop it David!” I told myself. “Thinking about it will just make you feel worse.” Soon I started to get thirsty and I was pretty far from the church. “Hey, there’s a lake,” I said, “and oh thank-you God.” As I ran towards the sparkling water, I put my hands in. The water was so cool and I felt like I could swim in it. “I’ll just take a sip and then go back,” I said. As I drank it down slowly, it was really refreshing and cold, until I heard a loud boom that made the water ripple. “Who’s there?” I cried. All of a sudden, I felt a cold, wet hand around my wrist that pulled me in the water. “Oh no, help!” I yelled. “I’m drowning!” Soon, I sank into the deep water and felt every part of my body become numb with the coldness. I opened my eyes and felt like this was the end for me, but it wasn’t. “I can breathe underwater?” I asked.
“Well, now you can,” a man’s voice said.
“Who are you and what do you want?” I said. I soon saw a white figure coming close to me. I looked at him and saw myself as a white figure also, but floating in the water.
“Son,” he said, “I’m your father.”
“What?” I said. “No you’re not. My father’s dead and you couldn’t possibly be him!”
“But I am his ghost,” he said. I soon saw his face, it was him.
“Oh my God! You are!” I said. “Is this a dream?”
“No David, it’s real,” he said. “It can be, if you stay with me here forever.” I was shocked, here with him?
“Yeah dad, I want to,” I said, as I cried and hugged him. “I’ve missed you so much and so has mom, but if i stay here, what will mom do?” I asked. “She’ll worry about me and have no one with her.” I saw my dad’s expression and knew he was disappointed, but knew that was true.
“Ok son, I’ll let you go,” he said. “Just remember, I’ll always be in your heart and never forget you.”
“Thanks dad,” I said, as I hugged him once more.
“Now, close your eyes,” he said, “and wake up.”
“Wake up David,” Mom said quietly. “We’re about to close the coffin honey. Do you want to say any last words?” I was back at the church and looked at my dad once more. Everyone was watching me as I said my words in a quiet voice.
“Thank you dad. You were the best and now that you are gone from this world, just remember, you’ll always be in my heart and I’ll always be thinking of you,” I said proudly. A tear dropped from my eye and as it fell on his suit, I thought I saw him smile at me.

1 comment:

coy.fuentes@gmail.com said...

I really believe he did smile. People would real appreciate such love.

Now this is what I call a powerful narrative essay, and it got me reading.

Keep writing. You do the world good.